Sunny with a Chance of Clouds

I really like writing in a blog, even though I just started. It’s different from writing in my journal. Most of those thoughts are written with no particular reader in mind. I could be angry and venting it all out on paper. I sometimes write out my prayers – for help or of gratitude. I might be feeling sad or lonely and wondering if it’s depression again. I make lists of things to discuss with my therapist. But my journal is mine.

Something that I didn’t know before I started this thing called blogging is about the blogging community itself. I hadn’t really understood how much support there is in the blogging world – writers are so encouraging of each other! I feel a tickle of delight when someone says something nice in the comment section. It’s amazing how constructive comments can affirm or challenge my writing – sometimes pushing me to rethink a topic or dig deeper. These things are good! I hope they will help me improve my writing. And it’s nice to connect to others who might share the same topic but a different story.

Depression doesn’t bring community and connections. It brings isolation, loneliness, the absolute assurance that I’m the only one in the world hurting like this. Depression, like a big dark cloud, wants to settle over me, push me down – maybe push me back under the bedcovers. It wants me to be alone. It often convinces me that I have nothing to offer anyone, so I might as well stay at home. It slows down my thinking. It redirects my focus so that I’m looking down at myself, not up.

If I can remember to look up, to turn my face towards Jesus, then He reminds me that I’m not alone.

for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!], Hebrews 13:5b, AMP

It’s hard to do, to look up, to call out “Help me, Jesus!” Actually, Jesus is the One who helps me look up, helps me call out His name. And if I’m listening, I’ll hear Him remind me that He’s right there with me. I can connect with Him. I can be in communion with Him. And many times, He points me to my friends, my community of fellow Christ followers. There, I can share my burdens (Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ., Galatians 6:2, NASB) , and they support and encourage and pray for me. Connected with Christ and in a community of Christ followers; I am not alone.