Welcome back…to me, and therefore to you, my readers (thank you for reading, by the way!).
I’ve been away from writing and journaling and blogging and reading for a month, due to the whirlwind that overcame me as we moved to Florida. Yep – we made it. (See https://peggyricewi.wordpress.com/2015/01/20/florida-here-we-come-yet-still-waiting/ post from the end of January). But with all that has to happen in buying and selling homes – lots of paperwork, changing addresses, saying all of my goodbyes (that’s the hardest part of this process, for me anyway), selling furniture on Craig’s List, weeding out old books and clothes and craft supplies, giving liquids to neighbors and friends (liquids can’t be transported on the moving van), dropping off donations and hazardous waste – it was all-consuming.
And then there’s the flight to Florida, signing lots of papers, doing a little new-home shopping, unpacking the many boxes that come off the moving truck. And finding new places for all of our belongings – making each room feel like home instead of a forest of boxes. Hanging pictures, getting new drivers’ licenses, finding my way around town, unpacking a few more boxes (don’t look in the garage – there are still plenty yet to be emptied)…
It’s been almost impossible to find time to write. And when I do have time, I’m exhausted. And to tell you the truth, I’ve been a little intimidated. When I first started blogging in January (I’m a newbie), I was following instructions from the WordPress classes – classes that are designed to help new bloggers get off to a good start. I was really enjoying February’s Writing 201: Poetry, and had signed up for March’s Photography 101. I have all the assignments, I just haven’t done all the work.
And then those little voices started nagging at me. You know the little angel on one shoulder, reminding me how much I was enjoying my entry into the world of blogging. But you also know the little red devil with the pitchfork on the other shoulder, whispering to me that I’ve lost my momentum, won’t be able to blog again, the words won’t flow…Notice how he says so much more than the angel. Or maybe I just hear him more loudly. I’m such a self-critic, so his words resonate.
So I’ve avoided journaling, and reading my friends’ blogs, and writing my own. I’ve also ignored my emotions, stuffing them down until I “have time” to deal with them. Admittedly, they’ve leaked out a few times, but I just choke them back – I don’t have time right now.
And I’ve neglected my time with God again. I’ve prayed a lot, but I haven’t taken the time to meet with Him, to read His words and listen for His voice. I’ve been busy, like Martha in Luke 10:38-41 (NIV):
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Please don’t misunderstand – the work Martha was doing was important. But her worry and distraction by the busyness of the tasks – that’s where her priorities went awry. I want to choose what is better. I want to get back into the habit of starting every morning with Jesus. The reality is that I’ve started this process with Him hundreds of times in my life, in our walk together. But each time, He is full of love and welcomes me back. And He’s never too busy – He always has time.
[Even as I wrote this, I knew it sounded familiar. https://peggyricewi.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/distractions-and-intimidation/. And that’s not surprising – God often teaches me the same lesson over and over. Sometimes, He takes me deeper in the lesson; other times, it’s a refresher course!]