I did it. I went on the tour, by myself, knowing nobody. Whew!
I arrived right on time, got my ticket, and walked out on the deck to join the others. Wait, let me back up – I came very close to turning around, and I had to take deep breaths as I was driving. My anxiety was high, and I kept thinking about coming back home. But I’d already posted part 1!
When I walked out back, there were maybe 13 people there, in groupings. One couple was clearly staying to themselves. Everyone was older than me, but that was what I expected. The first group I saw, straight out the door, was two couples. I approached, and they all turned towards me (I was so glad there was a table between us, so if they hadn’t noticed me, it wouldn’t have been embarrassing!) I said “Hi, I’m Peggy.” The first guy who had seen me said “Hi” and told me his name (I repeated it, “Hi, _____” so I would remember. (Notice the line is blank.) His wife was Diane – I know ’cause I asked her again later. The other couples’ names both started with the same letter – J, I think. I know I repeated each one. But all I remember is ______. (Depression often brings me trouble with my memory.)
I sat next to Diane as we left port, but once we were allowed to move around, I grabbed my iPhone to take pictures, and ended up sitting on the middle bench of the boat, kinda by myself. But I was ok with that. I listened to the two guides – one told some history of the Edison family, the other talked about the ecology of the Caloosahatchee River. Pretty interesting, took lots of pictures (not great, sorry). Don’t remember much that was said (memory!), but am still glad I went.
Decided not to go to lunch with the group – too much to take on today. Ran an errand and came home to the couch corner, where I played on my iPad and watched repeat TV shows until my husband came home. Took a long nap. We went for a swamp walk (on the boardwalk, to see how all the rain has changed the topography since March), then home. And here I sit.
So, some good things: I pushed myself out of my isolation comfort zone. I took pictures. I said hello. I blogged about it – before and after.
And I prayed – oh, how I prayed! All the way to the dock (30 minutes) I prayed and reminded God (😉) that He was with me, and would comfort me, and enable me, and support me, and basically get me through. And of course He did!