Why am I awake?

How is it that I’m awake again at 4:13am?

Moving to Florida meant that our time zone changed – from Central to Eastern. No big deal, right? An hour. News is on at 11pm instead of 10pm. No problem.

Except that my bedtime has been 10pm for the past decade and a half. I was head-to-the-pillow by 11pm at the latest, and that’s even before the kids were teenagers. I’d try to stay awake until they got home, but I never made it. I’d usually head to our bedroom by 10pm, brush teeth, wash face, put on pjs, try to read a book, and my light was out by 10:15pm. I might roll over to find my husband still engrossed in his book, well past my sleepy-time. How did he read The Fall of the Roman Empire at 11:30 at night? I couldn’t get two pages of anything read before my eyes started to close.

We’ve been living down south for 6 months and I still don’t have a consistent bedtime. I’ve brushed my teeth and washed my face as early as 9pm or as early as 2:30am. I cannot get this figured out, nor get my body to cooperate. I don’t go to bed “on time,” and my waking time is all over the place – 4:30am, 7:30am, roll over fall back asleep get up at 10:30am!

Blame it on my new meds. Blame it on “the female change” (I am 51.5 yrs old – hormones must play a part in this, right?). Blame it on the kitten – kneading, purring, climbing on my face, hungry at 5:00am. But there’s no way this is my fault.

Ok. It is. I admit it. It’s my problem, caused by my choices, which makes it fully my responsibility.

I don’t want to go to bed at 9pm. My hubby is so good at this – consistent, dependable. He knows he has to leave the house for 1/2 hour commute by 7:00am, so he heads to bed at 9pm to get some reading done before lights-out. But I don’t want to go to bed that early. (You can read that sentence again – insert whiny toddler voice.) Shoot, some of my weekly TV shows are just starting! I won’t be done watching until 11pm if I watch Prime Time TV like I used to. Not that there’s anything incredibly amazing on TV, but that’s been my routine – watch TV, then go to bed.

Ah-ha! The culprit…Routine! It’s not that my bedtime has changed – it’s my routine that’s changed. And I am all outta-whack.

I used to work part time at the best job in the entire world – The Children’s Museum of La Crosse.  I worked there for a total of just over 11 years, with a 3-year hiatus when we lived in Madison, WI. And since my job was part time, there was a fair amount of flexibility to my weekly schedule. But I knew I had work most days.

My job flexibility allowed for other weekly routines – Tuesday morning Bible Study, Friday morning Moms In Prayer.  My month had some structure too. During the school year, the band meeting was on the third Monday at 7pm. There were Bible study leadership meetings, Moms In Prayer prep, getting study done for Tuesday, Care Groups on Monday. When the kids were younger, my after-work schedule was whatever they had going – getting this one to rehearsal, picking that one up from a friend’s.

Though like any schedule, it could be either hectic or repetitively boring, it was routine, consistent. Even summer developed its own easy rhythm, pattern. Simply the freedom of the summer “schedule” – swimming lessons, play dates, Vacation Bible School, Driver’s Ed, camping with friends. Even summer held its own routine.

I don’t have routine, no real reason to. I’m just beginning to figure out my weekly schedule – there’s not much to it yet. Not working (my choice, and I’m really enjoying that freedom right now), Moms In Prayer on Wednesdays, still trying to add Bible study. Still meeting people and finding connections. Might add the knitting club that our neighborhood offers. Community activities change with “season” – when snowbirds return and roads get crowded again. And my schedule has plenty of room to add exercise to each day – why hasn’t that happened yet?

It’s still early. I guess while I wait for my day to start, and my weeks to fill with routine, I’ll relax in the freedom that right now brings. I’ll enjoy the start of this morning with Jesus, trusting Him to fill my future days the way He wants them. I’ll try to do a better job of going to bed, and will add exercise to most days. Today, maybe just a nap after church. But in the meantime, thanks, God, for the sunrise!

sunrise just now!
sunrise just now!

4 thoughts on “Why am I awake?

  1. DEANE NANCY KINGSBURY September 27, 2015 / 11:35 am

    Dear Peggy, Thanks for adding the picture. What an incredible sunrise. You are blessed to have an open view of God’s heavens. Love, Mom P.S. Did you say knitting club? If you join, tell me what it entails. Date: Sun, 27 Sep 2015 13:24:03 +0000 To: midlandprof@msn.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • peggyricewi September 27, 2015 / 12:03 pm

      I think knitting club is just folks showing up to the same place at a certain time with their own knitting projects. I’m putting it on my Friday morning calendar. Will let you know!


  2. Julie September 27, 2015 / 10:12 am

    Thank you for sharing that beautiful sky! You mentioned Bible study leadership meetings – were you in BSF? Wishing you a great day, filled with just enough satisfying activity to tire you out for a good night’s sleep.


    • peggyricewi September 27, 2015 / 11:20 am

      I have not been in BSF. I first wanted to, almost 20 years ago, but they didn’t provide care for babies at the time, and my son was a newborn. But my mom and aunt and two cousins were all in it – it would have been fantastic to have been doing the same study from across the U.S. By the time my son was old enough, I was in leadership in my church’s Women’s Ministry, a role I served in several churches. Now I’m here in FL and there’s no BSF in my area! Looking at Christian Bible Study instead. I’ll attend on Tuesday. Have a great day, Julie!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.