Today, I Chose Not To

Today, I chose not to get up early. Lately, I’ve been sleeping in. If I have nothing going on, then I can take my time in getting out of bed. There’s no rush to be anywhere.

Today, I chose not to attend Bible Study. I didn’t feel like putting myself out there, with the smiling face that says everything’s ok, that pretends to be interested in – well – anything. I like the study a lot, but am not connecting with folks. Of course, I have to attend to connect – I know. But some days that takes more energy than I want to expend.

Today, I chose not to go anywhere. I stayed home. This means that most of the day has gone by without me speaking to anyone. I didn’t go to the pool, nor to the workout room. I sat on the lanai this afternoon, and in my spot on the couch most of the rest of the day.

I realize that making these choices could lead me into self-pity and isolation, even down the path toward depression. But instead, today I simply enjoyed the slow pace of the day, the relaxation of studying my Bible on my own, completing a few small projects that needed attention and time, petting the kitty, watching TV.

I’m in a holding pattern, waiting for whatever the next thing is that God has for me. I think I am supposed to be writing, but I keep procrastinating, am feeling intimidated by the project. Then again, if this is what God has given me to do, I know He will equip me completely with what I need to get it done.

I just need to choose to do it.



One thought on “Today, I Chose Not To

  1. lilypup February 24, 2016 / 11:36 am

    I really like the Christian tone of your blog. I do my devotionals every morning and they do help me look on the positives. They talk a lot about God’s love for you, whether you are in a sickbed or busy. It also says to be careful to take time to love Jesus and not just race around. I need to remember that more.

    Liked by 1 person

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