A couple of years ago, I told my therapist, Ted, “It feels good to feel good.”
I met with my psych doc today, and told him that I think the new meds are working. Even after the wonderful Christmas break with the kids, and my concerns about sorting out the effect of the new meds vs. my family fun, I can say that the new cocktail is effective. Yay!
It’s sunny today, and I noticed! I feel lighter, more quick to smile. I actually asked after my doc, instead of making the appointment all about me. I’m signed up for a book club at the library. I’m looking forward to my week. I’m ready to try a new knitting project. I’ve inquired about a volunteer opportunity – I just need to pick up the application.
I really like my new therapist, Pam, at Valley Hope Counseling Center. At last week’s appointment, she challenged me to look at these different experiences, and try one. I came home and investigated all of them! Knitting groups, book clubs, volunteering at an adult care center. She pointed out that I’ve been talking about volunteering at the hospital for a year, but I haven’t done anything about it…why not? Good question, and I think it’s because I know it won’t result in on-going relationships, which is what I long for. But a couple of weeks ago, as I turned into the parking lot at the grocery store, I saw the Adult Care Center, and my curiosity was immediately piqued. Volunteering there – talking to guests, playing games, building relationships, maybe making a difference in someone’s life. Now that’s appealing.
The point here is that I have energy again. I have enthusiasm. I want to do stuff. Anhedonia is gone.
God is good. He is patient with me as I struggle in and out of depression. He is waiting for me to come to Him so that He can pour His love into me. He puts people and medications in my life to heal me (at least for now). And I’ll take it!